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~Thoughts for Thinking People~
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I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Why do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning – Contains nuts."

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Why is it that to stop Windows 98®, you have to click on "Start"?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

On a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the final approach, the captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the American Airlines® flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate."

Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a Diet Coke®.

Why is it doctors call what they do "practice"?

On a bag of Fritos®: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)

Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

On an airline packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

Cats are smarter than dogs. Try to get a team of cats to pull a sled through snow.

To stay in shape, my mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

You know the indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?

On some Swanson® frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (Just a suggestion.)

An airplane pilot wrote that on one particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" "Did we land or were we shot down?"

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

These days, I spend of lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something then wonder what I'm there after.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): "Do not turn upside down."

The Wysong e-Health Letter is an educational newsletter. Opinions expressed are meant to be taken for their argumentative/intellectual interest value, and not interpreted as specific medical or legal direction for individual conditions or situations. The e-Health Letter does not represent all-inclusive knowledge, nor can it affirm or deny facts or data gathered from cited references. Before initiating any health action or changing existing therapies, individuals should read the references cited in the e-Health Letter or request them from Wysong Corporation (, and seek and evaluate several alternative, competent viewpoints. The reader (not the Wysong e-Health Letter) must assume all responsibilities from the application of educational and often controversial information presented in the e-Health Letter.

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