WYSONG e-HEALTH LETTER
for Thinking People~
I'm not into working
out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but
when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Why do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning – Contains nuts."
I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking
the locks, they are always locking three of them.
Why is it that to stop Windows 98®, you have to click on "Start"?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
On a particularly windy and bumpy day, during the final approach,
the captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing,
the American Airlines® flight attendant came on the PA and announced,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in
your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's
left of our airplane to the gate."
Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a Diet Coke®.
Why is it doctors call what they do "practice"?
On a bag of Fritos®: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
Kids in the back seat cause accidents. Accidents in the back seat
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone
going faster than you is a maniac?
On an airline packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
Cats are smarter than dogs. Try to get a team of cats to pull a sled
To stay in shape, my mother started walking five miles a day when
she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
You know the indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?
On some Swanson® frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(Just a suggestion.)
An airplane pilot wrote that on one particular flight he had hammered
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers
exited, smile and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline."
He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking
the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except this little old lady
walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
"Did we land or were we shot down?"
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
These days, I spend of lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I
go somewhere to get something then wonder what I'm there after.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): "Do not
turn upside down."
Wysong e-Health Letter is an educational newsletter. Opinions
expressed are meant to be taken for their argumentative/intellectual
interest value, and not interpreted as specific medical or legal direction
for individual conditions or situations. The e-Health Letter does
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